


By Now - A Songfic

by orphan_account



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Songfic, marianas trench 'by now', oops my hand slipped, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2341106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based loosely on the song 'By Now' by Marianas Trench. I highly advise listening to the song before reading.<br/>It's Christmas Eve, and something is bothering Kaoru. A late night visit to Kyoya's house doesn't end too well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By Now - A Songfic

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Kitty here! I really appreciate any input you may have for me, good or bad. This is my first time writing an angsty songfic, so please let me know what you think! KyoKao, and Implied TamaKyo.

Kaoru stood outside Kyoya’s door late Christmas Eve, shivering in the cold. He couldn’t even remember why he was there so late; true, it only felt late to him because he had gone to bed rather early and was woken by a horrible dream, but that didn’t mean he should just rush over uninvited like he always did.

 

Like he used to do.

 

He hadn’t seen Kyoya since the day before Christmas break. They had been in the club room, only messing around, and things had been said. Horrible things.

 

He guessed it was only because of the fact that they were still in the club room, still in the club mood in general, but what had been said had been said. He was about to relive the moment once more when the door to the large house opened and light flooded out. A silhouette stood in the doorway, rubbing its eye as an attempt to wipe sleep away.

 

“Mm...Kaoru?” the sleepy voice droned.

 

_How’ve you been? Can I come in? Just came to get my things and then I guess I’m leaving. If I could say what you’d like to hear, I’d whisper in your ear it’s only temporary, but I’ve been taking you for granted._

 

Kyoya obviously had been expecting guests for the next day; the table was set for a breakfast feast and the mantle of the fireplace held a number of stockings. Kaoru sat down on the plush couch as he watched Kyoya bustle around in the kitchen, making cocoa per Kaoru’s request. “What brings you here so late?” Kyoya asked casually as he waited for the milk to heat up, obviously trying to avoid the burning situation that kept them apart for so long.

 

“I had a dream about you,” Kaoru began, “about that day in the club room.”

 

A slight stumble. Kaoru was able to pick these things up in a snap. Kyoya quickly recovered, however. “Which day? There were many days.”

 

“You know which day I’m talking about,” Kaoru mumbled.

 

Kyoya didn’t stumble at his sternness, not this time. Usually he didn’t at all, but he was still half asleep. He poured the warmed milk into two separate Christmas-themed mugs and grabbed the cocoa powder from a cabinet. “Oh? What about it?”

 

“I owe you an apology,” he hung his head shamefully.

 

“There is nothing to apolo--”

 

“Don’t give me that,” he spat. “Just accept my apology, please! It’s hard enough to come all the way over here and do this...”

 

“Then why did you?”

 

_And I thought you’d feel the same as me, it’s time that I come clean, but, but for now can we just pretend to sleep? Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need, what goes around don’t come around._

 

“What are you trying to say?” Kyoya asked skeptically, sipping his cocoa.

 

“As if it wasn’t obvious,” Kaoru murmured. “We need to break up.”

 

“Over a silly little--”

 

“It is not silly nor little,” Kaoru was on the verge of tears. He remembered the pain and sadness in Kyoya’s eyes when he moaned the name of...Hikaru. Hikaru, of all the goddamn people on the face of the earth, Hikaru!

 

“You have feelings for your brother, and I get that.”

 

“I don’t!” he insisted. A tear slid down his cheek and he took a shaky sip from the mug that was nearly empty despite the fact that Kyoya had given it to him just a couple minutes prior. He stared in the cup at the contents as he spoke again. “Kyoya...I don’t know how that slipped out. Out of all the words or names or people I could have said...”

 

“Kaoru. I know.”

 

“Huh? You think so?” His hands were trembling. “Tell me then, what am I thinking?”

 

Kyoya stayed silent, knowing the boy was getting anxious. “Kaoru, would you like to--”

 

“Spend the night? No, I can’t, I can’t...”

 

_You should know me by now, better than, better than...and I should know you as well, better than, better than...you should know me by now._

 

Kyoya rinsed out the mugs while Kaoru pouted on the couch the way the twins did: crossing their arms, narrowing their eyes, feeling the need to punch something. He knew well when Kaoru was upset and could nearly predict his every move...up until now.

 

Kyoya looked away from his mop of orange hair for a second, and when he looked back it was gone. His eyebrow rose, questioning himself silently on where the boy could have possibly gone, and then it was back. In a pair of silk pajamas. He smiled to himself. “Decided to take me up on my offer, I see.”

 

Kaoru flat out ignored him as he plopped down onto the couch once more. Kyoya set down the mug, leaving it to soak in the dishwater. He needed to sort things out with his boyfriend. He calmly walked back into the den where Kaoru was sitting, sitting down in a chair across from him. “Kaoru. I think we need to talk.”

 

“What’s there to talk about?” he responded coldly. “You think you know everything about me. You should know me better than to love my brother.”

 

“Then why did you moan his name?” Kyoya pressed the subject.

 

“I don’t know, okay?! We were in the host club! Hika does stuff like that all the time! You should know, you set up that disgusting act of ours!”

 

The older sighed, rubbing his temples. “Honestly, Kaoru...”

 

_Our talk is small, I’m seven inches tall, and you should keep the apartment. So here’s my keys, changed all the bills. We’re only built to spill and wonder where the heart went, and you’ve been taking me for granted._

 

The truth.

 

Kaoru hadn’t expected it, hadn’t expected Kyoya to announce so casually he was cheating. Everything seemed to be falling apart in one single evening.

 

Even more of the truth.

 

Kaoru hadn’t meant to say it, but it had come out.

 

“I’m quitting the club,” he announced as if he were telling the world that his boyfriend were cheating on him. The tone, almost sorrowful and regretted, lingered in the air.

 

The only sound that broke the silence was the sharp intake of air from Kaoru. “I’m going to study abroad, I’ve decided.”

 

“Kaoru, you can’t just rush into these decisions,” Kyoya said hurriedly.

 

“No, Kyoya. I’ve been thinking about quitting for weeks, and studying abroad is something that I’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t because of the club. So I’m quitting.” He rose from the sofa, going into the back room to sleep. Sure, they were fighting, but Kaoru would rather avoid the drunken Hikaru when he got home. Plus, going outside in negative degrees didn’t seem too intriguing to him.

 

_And I thought you’d feel the same as me, it’s time that I come clean, but, but for now can we both just pretend to sleep? Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need. What goes around don’t come around._

 

“Kaoru...”

 

“Mm...”

 

“Merry Christmas, Kao,” Hikaru beamed down at him. Kaoru slowly opened his eyes and looked around. This wasn’t his bedroom...

 

A loud screech jolted him awake and he sat upright, looking around. Tamaki was being chased down the hallway by Hunny, who was waving around a piece of mistletoe. “Tama-chan, I just want a peck on the cheek!”

 

Kaoru glared up at Kyoya and Hikaru, who were oh so kind to wake him from his good dream. “What?” he asked, irritated.

 

“What do you mean, ‘what’? Didn’t Kyoya senpai invite you to stay the night because we’re doing a host club gift exchange today?”

 

“Oh, uh, right,” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eye. He shuffled out of bed and across the cold wood floor, cringing at the sudden coldness. Hikaru, who had gone to fetch Haruhi from the kitchen, was Kaoru’s last hope of avoiding a serious discussion about the previous evening with Kyoya. And, sure enough, the door was closed and latched shut and then there were two; the sounds of the others were muffled and barely recognizable.

 

“Kaoru--” Kyoya began, but Kaoru cut him off.

 

“It’s fine, senpai,” he stated coldly, emphasizing the ‘senpai’ he hadn’t used to classify Kyoya in months. He tried to leave the room, but Kyoya stopped him.

 

_You should know me by now, better than, better than...and I should know you as well, better than, better than...you should know me by now._

The festivities had ended a while ago. Tamaki was the last to leave, giving both Kyoya and Kaoru a smooch as a “VERY great Christmas present!” as the blond idiot described it. Kaoru was still wiping the leftover eggnog Tamaki had graciously left on his lips off said lips when Kyoya finished doing the dishes. “Now, can we please talk properly about this?”

 

“Kyoya senpai, it isn’t fair,” he mumbled.

 

“What isn’t fair?”

 

“You know exactly what’s going on. You knew you were wrong. I didn’t know I was wrong until Hikaru told me what had happened...how I moaned his name instead of yours...and trust me, you both have the wrong idea. I’m not in love with my brother, I swear. But...you cheating...you knew you were doing wrong, and yet you still did it!” He didn’t notice he was crying until Kyoya reached over and wiped the tears away from his cheeks.

 

_I know that I remember you, I think that you remember me too, how can one of us feel blessed when the other one’s lost? I know you’ve got the feel to change, it just gets worse when it stays the same, how can one of us feel blessed when the other one’s so lost?_

 

They didn’t speak much during school. Occasionally, when Kaoru had found a way into the liquor cabinet, Kyoya received a drunken call from his ex, but other than that they didn’t speak. It killed Kaoru to know that even though he had only made one little mistake during their relationship, Kyoya was fully committed to his mistake.

 

_Don’t you know me by now?....you should know me by now._

 

 


End file.
